OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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