if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
i believe in u and ur pee
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
