I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
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Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
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I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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