i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
