ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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