Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
