Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
