No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
