Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
