maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
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I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
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never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I touched a dick in church today
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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