I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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