he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
i think i just lost a toe
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
