I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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