wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
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By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
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I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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