So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
It was confusing and full of hummus
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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