She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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