yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
