It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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