what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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