Need sex. Gaining weight.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
You know, be my cock's hype man.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
