I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
