her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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