The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
