Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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