why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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