we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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