Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
What a dumb baby whore.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
