I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
