only if we run a train.
done.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
