It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
