So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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