I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
