I'll bet she douches with gravy.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
two words: eviction party
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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