i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
