Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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