I could make wine with my vomit
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
