I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
