I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
