You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
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