if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
