people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
