When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
