He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
