She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
