Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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