Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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