so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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