OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
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Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
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Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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