Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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