2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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