Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
