so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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