Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
