well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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