Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
