I didn't shave. On purpose
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
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she peed on how many people?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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