i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
