I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
