Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize