Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
