Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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