2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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