By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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