Define "chronic" masturbator.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
