I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Vodka?
Forever.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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