I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Who died my cat blue again?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
